Support for Male Perpetrators

It may be that you are looking at this website because you are being referred to the programme by a professional you are working with (maybe a social worker or probation officer) Or it may be that you have started having some concerns about your own behaviour towards your partner/ ex-partner. You will find support and guidance within this section of the website which can help you identify if your behaviour is abusive and if a programme such as DVPP would be helpful to you.

  • Have you ever abused your loved ones?
  • Have you ever scared them?
  • Have you physically hurt your partner or children?
  • Do you try to control them?

Abuse can occur in many different ways, and it is rarely a one-off occurrence.

There are many ways abuse can occur within a relationship including the following:

Physical- hitting, kicking, biting, slapping, shaking, pushing, choking, scratching, pinching, hair pulling, stabbing, drowning, threats with a weapon, physical restraint, withholding physical needs such as sleep & food.

Emotional or psychological abuse- name calling, threats, shouting, hurtful comments, gas-lighting, silent treatment, threatening to commit suicide, displaying weapons

Coercive control- stalking, harassment, monitoring your partners every move, isolating your partner from friends or family, controlling what your partner wears or where she goes, monitoring her phone activity, invading her privacy.

Sexual abuse- using force, coercion or guilt to have sex with your partner, not considering her views or ignoring if she does not consent to sex, exploiting your partner which could include making her have unwanted sexual experiences.

Financial abuse- controlling all the family income, not allowing the victim access to the money, keeping money hidden from the victim

Accepting accountability and the need for support

It can sometimes be hard to know if you are being abusive in your relationship, however the first step to identifying that you are being abusive is to be honest with yourself; reflect on how you have behaved towards your partner or ex-partner and accept the things you have done which you know may have been harmful, hurtful, controlling or abusive. Reflect on how your partner is feeling; have you physically injured them, are they scared of you, do they seem on ‘edge’ around you. If when you’re honest with yourself the answer to some of these questions is ‘yes’ then you may be ready to start getting some help to positively change how you behave towards your partner.

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